Dear Mr. Clark,
The Women’s Coalition is calling for a boycott of UK Athletics due to its outrageous complicity in the cover-up of sexual abuse by one of your coaches. It has come to our attention that Doncaster Council, likely with Family Court connivance, has instructed you to suppress the ban on Vicky Haigh's ex-husband. But you should not have capitulated.
Your silent ban on this perpetrator coaching children, contacting them on social media, and his supervision at UKA events is not enough. Parents have the right to know the facts and make up their own minds about whether they want their children around him. Arguably, teenagers also have a right to know. And, perhaps just as importantly, you have an obligation to parents and children outside UKA clubs and events. He is a danger to all children, not just the ones who attend UKA.
Also, you deprived Vicky of this crucial knowledge four years ago, which supports her daughter’s original disclosures, thus vindicating her. She could have filed to regain custody of her daughter then, attempting to protect her, before the perpetrator had a chance to further Stockholm and brainwash her. Now he has had many more years in which to turn Vicky’s daughter completely against her, a common perpetrator strategy enabled by Family Court, designed to silence children and disempower their mothers.
The Coalition’s mission is to raise awareness about the epidemic of women losing custody to controlling and abusive men. Vicky Haigh’s case is a perfect example of how the Family Court system, often with the aid of social services, Council, and the criminal justice system, conceals evidence of abuse, deems the mother a liar or mentally ill, and switches custody to the abusive father. In the worst cases, such as Vicky’s, the mother is denied any contact with her child and is incarcerated to punish and intimidate her into submission and silence.
We understand that you were not the Chair when the cover-up took place, but you now have the opportunity to make things right and clear UK Athletics of this stain on your reputation. On behalf of our nearly 25,000 followers, The Women’s Coalition requests you belatedly do the right thing: publish the ban and the facts which led to it.
Cindy Dumas, M.A.
Executive Director, The Women's Coalition
Facebook post with more info on the cover-up and the boycott:
Massive Cover Up of Vicky's Ex’s Abuse of Child He Coached
UKA/Council/Family Court/Police Collude: Endanger Children
BOYCOTT UK Athletics for endangering children! [See below]
“Vicky’s ex-husband was found guilty of sexual misconduct with a minor by UK Athletics, resulting in a ban from coaching children…In failing to publicly report the ban, UK Athletics, Doncaster Council and Family Court have caused children in the community to be left at risk, including Vicky’s daughter…
…In 2014, Doncaster Council had suceeded in getting a no-contact order for Vicky and her daughter as a result of her attempts to protect her daughter from sexual abuse by her ex; therefore, any evidence that goes to prove Vicky’s innocence and the wrongful removal of her child would have to be buried—which is precisely what has occurred.”
- Legal commentator
"There has been a determined effort to deprive me of a mother-daughter relationship, where the Court has ensured that I am completely separated from her. My daughter has lost out on her grandmother, her younger sister and all of her maternal family for 9 years. I don't want my daughters losing their children like I did. This biased system has to stop with this generation.”
- Vicky Haigh
UK’s most famous Protective Mum, Vicky Haigh, recently discovered that UK Athletics had banned her ex in 2015 from coaching children, after he sexually groomed and stalked a child, a criminal offense which often leads to sexual assault.
UK Athletics (UKA), Family Court Judge Annabel Carr, and Doncaster Council have colluded in covering up the ban, so parents are left in the dark and children are endangered. Doncaster Council (likely at the direction and complicity of Family Court) pressured UKA to not publish the ban, which is the usual procedure.
Nobody informed Vicky that her ex had been banned, even though she still holds parental rights. Vicky has not been allowed to have contact with her daughter for the last nine years, due to Family Court deeming her reports of child sexual abuse by her ex being deemed lies. Vicky found out about the ban when Doncaster Council filed a motion to discharge their care orders on her daughter. She launched a battle to regain custody, but Judge Carr, fully aware of the ban, approved the discharge and continued sole custody with the perpetrator.
Judge Carr has enabled “Stockholming” (creating a trauma bond with a perpetrator) and coercive persuasion (brainwashing) of Vicky’s daughter to convince her that her her mother is a liar and her father is the victim. This is a common occurrence in Family Court to help fathers keep control and punish their exes.
The South Yorkshire police have also been complicit in the cover up. They used the illogical excuse that the victim was busy with testing and was not available for trial. The same officer who helped cover up the abuse when Vicky’s daughter was five was involved with this new phase of the cover up.
It is obvious why all these systems are all colluding to cover up the ban: it supports Vicky's long-time stance that her ex is a child sexual abuser and that Family Court was wrong in removing her daughter from her custody. They may be liable for defamation and wrong-doing. Vicky may be considering suing them, and she should for all the pain she and her daughter have endured. Also, the revelation would draw public attention to the systemic agenda to conceal abuse by fathers.
Doncaster Council used an absurd justification for concealing the ban: that it would "upset" Vicky’s daughter to publish it. Yet they were placing her at risk leaving her under the control of the perpetrator she had reported sexual abuse by when she was five.
It is common in sexual abuse cases to justify concealing evidence of abuse from the public and media by claiming it is necessary to protect the child, when it is actually done to keep the public from knowing the truth. That is why a new system is necessary, one that is open and provides due process and protection for children.
UKA MUST PUBLISH THE BAN!
The public should be informed about bans on coaches so they can decide if they want their children around a perpetrator. The only place the father is required to be supervised is at UKA events which leaves other children at risk.
There is a famous U.S. case, in which the mother had also gone to jail and had been on supervised visits for six years after reporting sexual abuse by the father. He molested his daughter’s friends and was sentenced to prison, and she finally got custody returned. https://www.dailykos.com/stories/2014/8/25/1324443/-Judge-I-Gave-a-Child-Molester-Custody-of-His-Daughter
Please boycott of all UKA facilities, activities and events until they agree to publish the ban against Vicky’s ex and future bans against all perpetrators.
CONTACT UKA CHAIR Chris Clark
Let Mr. Clark know you are outraged UKA has not published the ban on Vicky Haigh’s ex-husband, and that he should immediately publish it. It is the public’s right to know. [Note: Mr. Clark was not the Chair when the cover up began.]
PHONE: 0121 713 8400
[Note: It is TWC policy to not publish names or pictures of fathers who are abusive or have wrongly taken custody away from mothers, but you can click on the link to the biased Daily Mail article which sides with him.]
Like millions of mothers around the world, Vicky Haigh had her daughter unjustly removed from her custody after she was falsely found to be lying and alienating, hence emotionally abusive to her daughter. A no contact order was issued after which Vicky ran into her child at a petrol station and greeted her. She was sentenced to three years in prison, a draconian punishment meted out to a woman who dared challenge male authority in the family. After Vicky was released from prison, she moved out of the UK, but she has never stopped fighting for her daughter, who she has not been allowed to see for 9 years.
Video of speech by Vicky about the Family Court crisis:
Explosive New Revelations in Victoria Haigh Interview
Vicky Haigh Speaks About Family Court Crisis in New Interview
Daily Mail article siding with the father:
Racehorse trainer previously jailed for approaching her daughter during bitter custody battle now banned from contacting the ten-year-old for three years
[Pictured: UKA Chair Chris Clark (top left); Judge Annabel Carr (bottom left); Vicky Haigh (right)]
Dana, a Russian-American mother of three, was sentenced in Kansas District Court to 7 years in prison, plus three more years under surveillance in the U.S. Currently her children remain in Russia with her family.
Dana's trial was unfair and biased, as Dana’s affirmative defense for taking her children to Russia was sabotaged by the judge’s ruling that prohibited evidence of physical, emotional, sexual and financial abuse by her ex from getting to the jury.
The incredible irony here is that the prosecutor charged Dana with extortion, while simultaneously extorting her via the children. She was offered a deal if she agreed to return the children to her ex. The family court often uses the complicit criminal justice system to keep a father in control after divorce.
U.S. Secretary of State Mike Pompeo and Representative Ron Estes are still trying to compel Russia to return the children to the father. This kind of State involvement has never, and would never, occur if it were a mother trying to get her children back from a father who had taken children to his native country.
It is not likely a coincidence that this sentence is long enough to ensure Dana will miss her children’s entire childhoods. This is the ultimate punishment for a woman who dares challenge the father’s authority.
Previous Facebook post with more info about Dana’s case:
Mom Convicted: Facing 43 Years in Prison
News coverage in Russia:
NOTE: TWC is not linking to U.S. mainstream media coverage because it is not objective; they do not tell Dana's side of the story.
[Pictured: Dana and children about 5 years ago]
“I am terrified for my family's safety…We are all terrified to disobey my husband. I know that filing for divorce and filing this motion will enrage him. I know he will retaliate by trying to harm me in some way.”
- Protective Mom Jennifer in court filing
Jennifer, a loving mother of 5, ranging in age from 8 to 13, has been missing for over a week and is feared dead. The missing persons investigation turned criminal after blood, and evidence of a clean-up, was discovered at her home.
Despite credible and corroborated reports that her ex is seriously abusive and that she justifiably feared for her children’s and her lives, the judge denied a protective order and granted joint custody.
Her ex reportedly threatened to kill her, threatened to kidnap the children, and engaged in controlling, volatile and delusional behavior. It was only after the father violated the custody order by allowing a romantic partner to stay at his house, that the judge restricted the father’s visitation.
The children are staying with their maternal grandparents right now, but the father has filed an emergency motion for the children to be returned to him. It will be heard on Wednesday at the Stamford Family Court at 10 am. Hopefully this time the judge will finally rule in the best interests of the children and protect them.
Jennifer has been forced to endure custody battles for over two years. It is the Coalition’s position that any woman who is a victim of abuse by her ex, or whose children are victims, should automatically be granted sole custody, and the father’s visits supervised. This is not only in the best interests of children, which is prevailing law, it would deter men’s violence against their exes.
The problem is that judges are wrongly finding that there is not preponderance of evidence of abuse when it easily reaches that burden of proof. That is why we need a new system. See the proposed new custody court system in which juries decide custody in a "real" civil court: https://www.womenscoalitioninternational.org/the-solution.html
FOLLOWING are excerpts from:
Jennifer Dulos feared her estranged husband
A mother of five children who went missing last week said she feared her estranged husband would harm her in retaliation for her attempting to gain full custody of their children in a divorce case that began two years ago, according to court documents.
… Much of the often fierce divorce battle with her husband, Fotis Dulos, has centered on custody of their five children, who are between the ages of 8 and 13, including two pairs of twins. While the divorce is still in litigation, Jennifer Dulos has been awarded [primary] physical custody of the children after a judge last year found Fotis Dulos to be an unhealthy influence on the children.
… Documents from the divorce proceedings reveal that Jennifer Dulos claimed her husband was verbally abusive and she worried he would attempt to take their children from her.
“I am afraid of my husband,” reads an affidavit tied to an order of custody filed in June 2017. “I know that filing for divorce and filing this motion will enrage him. I know he will retaliate by trying to harm me in some way.”
In the affidavit, Jennifer Dulos claimed Fotis Dulos had exhibited “irrational, unsafe, bullying, threatening and controlling behavior.”
The document says, “I am afraid for my safety and the physical safety and emotional well-being of our minor children.”
… The affidavit from Jennifer Dulos also stated that Fotis Dulos had threatened to kidnap the children and take them to his native Greece or somewhere else. He told Jennifer Dulos, “You will never find us,” according to the document.
… Jennifer Dulos said she grew increasingly afraid of her husband after he purchased a handgun about two years ago.
“I am terrified for my family’s safety, especially since discovering the gun, since my husband has a history of controlling, volatile and delusional behavior,” the affidavit says.
Jennifer Dulos feared her estranged husband
Daily Mail article:
Missing Connecticut mom's disappearance is now being treated as a HOMICIDE after blood is found at her home
JOIN The Women’s Coalition and help fight for the Child Custody Court Act, which codifies a new system designed to ensure children’s safety and well-being in contested custody cases.
Protective Mom Nashwa was found dead the day after Mother’s Day. It is unknown whether she committed suicide, as the cause of death has not been released. She had told a friend that she could not live in a world where she could not protect her boys, but other friends say she was not suicidal and would never have left her boys alone with their father.
The Women’s Coalition posted about Nashwa’s case last August [linked below]. Despite a tremendous amount of evidence that her ex was sexually abusing her 6 year-old twins, Judge Joan Ryon accused Nashwa of lying and coaching the boys, and gave sole custody to the father. The boys would cry on visits when they had to leave her, not understanding why they could not stay with their mother, who they wanted to live with.
Nashwa’s case fits the pattern of thousands, perhaps millions around the world, where Family Court judges disregard evidence of abuse by fathers and falsely accuse mothers of lying. Women and children are suffering immensely as a result of this institutionalized entitling of men and discrimination against women.
Please join us in our fight for a new system that provides for due process and ensures the true “best interests of the children”: www.WomensCoalitionInternational.org
PREVIOUS post with more info:
Maryland Judge Disregards “Extraordinary Amount of Evidence”
FB page: https://www.facebook.com/nashwa.holt
VIDEO of Nashwa’s son reportedly telling her about abuse:
Failure To Protect: Air Force Handling Of Colonel's Child Sex Assault Charges Raises Questions
Young Boys Allegedly Abused By Air Force Colonel Now In His Sole Custody
LETTER from U.S. Representatives requesting action:
COMMENT on TWC post:
"My husband represented [Nashwa] the mom of two 6-year-old boys who were allegedly being abused by their father, a decorated, high-ranking officer in the Air Force. Even with everything from medical records, to photographs, to videos, it was decided that it was not enough to take him to [military/criminal] court.
Who would believe 2 little boys and a frantic and hysterical mom when the accused is a US war hero? No one. She couldn't even get a day in court. The details of this case is so disturbing and I had a hard time accepting that this is happening in the US. They depicted the mom as delusional and vindictive.
That the mom, who a Harvard graduated anesthesiologist, was not reliable. That she was smart enough to brainwash her boys and that she coached them into saying what they did. Last fall the [family] court granted full custody of both boys to the father...even with the boys crying and saying that "daddy" hurts them. They allowed her visitation rights. And each time she saw them...they were thinner...they were wearing dirty clothes. She took pictures.
I have heard this mom. I've heard her cry. I've heard her call my husband at all hours of the night, pleading with him to not stop fighting for them. This was the one case that kept him up night after night. The last time I heard her...months ago, I remember hearing her she say that she didn't want to live in a world where she couldn't protect her boys.
Yesterday was Mother's Day. My husband texted her to wish her and to tell her that she is an amazing mother and to not give up. But she had lost all hope in our justice system...in humanity itself.
We got word a few hours ago that she committed suicide. Like she said, she couldn't live in a world where she couldn't protect her boys.
TWC NOTE: It is not because Nashwa's husband is a war hero that he got custody. This is happening to millions of women. It's because he is the father and there is an agenda to keep fathers empowered over women and children after separation or divorce."
New York - Yet another tragedy caused by a Family Court judge enabling an angry and dangerous father to harm his child by granting unsupervised visitation, despite a mother's pleas for protection.
Although Cherone says that she should have risked jail and kept Zoey, it likely would not have saved her. Eventually the judge would have been able to force her to visit her father, using CPS or law enforcement if necessary.
Zoe’s case fits into the pattern of judges all over the world who empower fathers after divorce to the great detriment of women and children. This is not happening because judges don’t have proper training, or they are being fooled by narcissistic men, or they disbelieve mothers, or the court doesn't have enough resources, or there isn't a law to protect children. In fact, virtually all jurisdictions have laws which prioritize children’s safety over parents’ rights.
No, this scourge is occurring due to the systemic agenda to empower men after divorce, the main staging grounds being Family Court, since that is where custody is decided. The fact that family court judges have the power to violate laws which protect children (and women) is the problem.
The only way to stop judges from taking children away from loving mothers and endangering them by giving them to controlling and abusive fathers is to remove judges’ power to decide custody and provide other due process protections. Join The Women’s Coalition and help fight for the new “Child Custody Court Act”.
FOLLOWING are excerpts from:
‘You’ll never see your daughter again,' deranged dad told mother of 3-year-old Queens girl who died in car fire with doors chained shut
On Sunday night, cops and firefighters pulled [Cherone Coleman’s] badly-burned 3-year-old girl, Zoey, from a charred Audi in Springfield Gardens, just blocks from where Coleman and her only child lived.
Coleman told The News that the girl's vindictive dad, Martin Pereira, had become unhinged in recent weeks as they battled over Zoey's custody. Coleman said she had gone to court to modify their visitation agreement, but a judge denied her request.
Against her wishes, but with the court's blessing, she said, Pereira left with the girl for a weekend visit on Saturday and Sunday. It was only the second time he had been entrusted with Zoey since she and Pereira broke up, Coleman said.
…Coleman said she then called 911 in a panic to report she had argued with her ex and she feared he was going to harm himself and their daughter.
The phone calls were just a prelude to the horror that unfolded on Sunday night.
That's when Zoey died in in the back of her father's flame-engulfed Audi, on Baisley Blvd. at 154th St., near Baisley Pond Park.
The doors to the car were chained shut as bright orange flames roared in the passenger compartment, said witnesses.
…The fire was so hot, the car door handles securing the chains melted, enabling rescuers to get inside. They rushed Zoey to Jamaica Hospital in a police vehicle, but she could not be saved.
…Cops on Monday morning declared little Zoey's death a homicide.
TWC NOTE: If you find out who the judge in this case is, please comment or pm and we will update this post.
RIP Little Zoey
[Pictured: Cherone and Zoey]
A $100,000 warrant was issued Friday for the arrest of a woman believed to be in hiding with her 14 year-old daughter.
Family Court Judge Chad Allred [pictured] commissioned law enforcement to charge Protective Mom Leslie with criminal custodial interference so he can force a teenager to live with a father she says is physically and emotionally abusive and of whom she is afraid.
Police and media are spreading the Judge Allred's false narrative that Leslie is lying about domestic violence she experienced, despite corroborating medical evidence. He says the reason Vail does not want to be with her father is that Leslie is brainwashing (alienating) Vail against him: the most common tactic used to switch custody to the father.
This dishonest narrative gets the public to sympathize with the father and dislike Leslie so they will turn her in. The Women’s Coalition encourages the public to NOT fall for the lies spread by Judge Allred and his abettors.
Leslie’s case fits the pattern that millions of women’s cases around the world follow: judges disregard negative evidence about fathers and fabricate negative evidence about mothers to justify switching custody to the father. [See a detailed look at the Family court playbook at WomensCoalitionInternational.org]
Both Leslie and Vail have reported abuse by the father, for which there is corroborating evidence, but Judge Allred has discredited their reports so he can justify giving custody to the father. When Vail refused to visit her father, Judge Allred used the common tactic with teens of ordering “reunification therapy” with an insider psychologist, whose job is to coercively persuade (brainwash) the child into agreeing to live with the father. Isolation of the child from her mother with threats of never seeing her mother again ensures success, but Vail was strong and did not break.
Vail ran away and has been gone almost two years. At some point, her mother Leslie may have joined her, because she is now missing too, but that remains unclear. What is clear is that the judge is using the prospect of prison to scare them both into returning and succumbing to the family court agenda to keep the father entitled and in control of his child, and continued control of his ex through his child.
This pattern plays out in developed countries around the world, wherever women have gained enough power and independence to leave men without being impoverished.
Join The Women’s Coalition where we are fighting for a new system in which judges will not have the power to decide custody.
SHAME on Judge Chad Allred for devastating Vail's childhood and Leslie's motherhood.
SHAME on King County Sheriffs Office and Q13 Fox News for going along with the discrimination and injustice being inflicted on this wonderful mom and teen.
FB page: A Voice for Vail: https://www.facebook.com/pg/aVOICEforVAIL/
Video of Vail refusing to visit father:
BIASED MSM story:
Mother charged with Custodial Interference, hiding teen daughter from dad
You can comment on this Fox News FB post in support of Leslie and Vail: https://bit.ly/2VyJewO
[From GoFundMe with video of Vail refusing to get in father’s car:
“On July 28th, 2017, Vail McCann ran away from her father's house in Maple Valley. Earlier that day, a combination of 8 different adults and security forcefully and traumatically removed her from the court house to begin a six week visit that she was blindsided with. Her father requested a six month custody reversal in order to force her to engage in reunification therapy with him to *fix* her refusal to see him. The judge ordered six weeks (3 make-up weeks and 3 regular visitation) with a hearing set to review in five weeks.
Here you see phase one of the 4 or so hour long transition. Her mom is instructed not to show emotion or comfort her child. If she does, it's seen as her mother feeding the child's anxiety instead of supporting the visit with the father. This precious girl also has high-functioning autism. The mother was instructed to physically remove the child's arms from her body and use all her strength to remove herself from the situation.
Vail has reported to her counselor, her GAL, and five police officers that she is afraid of her father. She's reported that he drags her, has attempted to kick her in the head, and left fingernail marks in her arm. She's reported that he harms her dogs and uses her sacred and special security items as leverage for behavior modification. She reported that after she told police about this, he broke into the bathroom where she was and threatened her. She reported that he told her she better never tell anyone again.
The things stated above as well as much more information can be found in King County Superior Court of the State of Washington Case 15-3-06672-6 KNT
Vail needs a voice fast. Right now she'll be returned to the same situation that she ran away from when she's found. She deserves to feel safe.
In addition to mom and Vail, mom's attorney and dad's sisters are in this video. She is transitioning to her aunts who will take her to her dad.”
[Pictured: Leslie and Vail (top and bottom left); Judge Chad Allred (bottom left)]
Dana, a Russian-American citizen, was found guilty for “abduction” and “extortion” last week in a Kansas federal court. In two months she will be sentenced to up to 43 years in prison.
Dana has two months to decide whether to sit in prison for 43 years or agree to her children being given to their violent, abusive father.
Dana has already been in prison for nearly two years, ever since she returned from Russia without her children, believing there would be a fair hearing on her case in Family Court, but instead, she was arrested and incarcerated by the feds.
Dana was not given a fair criminal trial. The judge did not allow the jury to hear her affirmative defense: the evidence of the father’s violence she left behind. He permitted the belated addition of two bogus extortion charges, increasing the sentencing range from 3 to 43 years. This was obviously done to increase the pressure exponentially on Dana to agree to give custody of her children to their abusive father. And jury selection was rigged, with only 3 women chosen.
Normally it is the county D.A. who colludes with family court judges and criminally punishes women for daring to challenge male authority in the family by leaving with children. But this case is in federal court, since it is an international case.
The fact that even federal officials collude with family court judges to punish errant women is further proof that the cause of the crisis is entrenched paternal entitlement, which is enforced by all systems relating to custody of children.
Dana, a Russian-American living in Kansas, had fled to Russia in 2014 with her older son from a previous marriage and her baby daughter. She was also pregnant with her second child by her abusive husband when she ran. Dana immediately filed for divorce in Russia and was granted sole custody of her children, but her ex was also granted sole custody in Kansas.
Dana and her children were safe and happy in Russia, but she was tricked into returning to the U.S. in 2017. Dana was told that if she returned, she would be afforded a fair hearing, but instead she was arrested and incarcerated.
Dana has reportedly been subjected to torturous treatment in prison including being forcibly medicated with anti-psychotic drugs, which made her very ill. This terrible treatment was apparently done as part of a ploy to get her to break and agree to her children returning from Russia and given to her ex.
Dana has not broken yet, but 43 years is a long time to be wrongly imprisoned. The irony is that she is being imprisoned for extortion, when she is the one being extorted for her children.
Please comment in support of Dana.
“We lived in constant fear and stress…My mother saved me and my sisters from a domestic abuser...Please help…return our mother to us.”
- Ian, Dana’s son [see his videos linked below]
Fundraiser by friends of Dana:
TWC NOTE: Women must wake up to the reality that men still control us through our children and must demand a new system in which the old boys, and those who do their bidding, do not have the power to take our children.
The "Child Custody Act" codes for a new system in which children’s physical and emotional well-being is ensured.
NOTE: This case has gotten media attention both in Kansas and Russia, but, as usual, they have left out the facts that show why Dana left. So they will not be linked to here.
A Crushing 96% of Moms Say Judge Deliberately Harmed Their Children.
In a Women's Coalition poll, 96% of over 300 mothers say their Family Court judge did not make an honest mistake, but that s/he knew her/his rulings were not good for the children, and in many cases, very harmful, as is evidenced by comments on the post.
This result is consistent with the thousands of emails The Women’s Coalition has received detailing how judges have disregarded, and often actively concealed, considerable evidence of abuse or unfitness by the fathers of their children.
These poll results are important because they confirm the core cause of the custody crisis is judges DELIBERATELY disregarding children’s safety and well-being in order to grant custody or unsupervised visitation to fathers, many of whom are physically or sexually abusive.
That means the solutions being pushed by protective parent and child abuse organizations will not make any significant difference in the crisis. Since judges are DELIBERATELY ignoring evidence and falsely finding mothers to be lying, alienating, abusive and mentally ill, no amount of training, resources or new laws will help.
It doesn’t matter how much the court parasites profit off custody cases or how much money fathers or mothers have, the result is the same. And it doesn’t matter what new laws are enacted, because family court judges can violate laws with impunity. Family courts are designed so judges have, in effect, absolute power.
"Family Court" is just a modern-day mechanism used to enforce male entitlement, power and control in the family. Patriarchy means literally: “rule of the father”. It is no coincidence Family Court judges have been given nearly absolute power. It's so they can maintain fathers’ control over "their" women and children after divorce.
Kate Millet said, “The chief institution of patriarchy is the family.”
The only way to end the crisis is to eliminate this root cause. That means a new system must be implemented, in which juries, not judges, have the power to decide custody, which operates in a REAL civil court, not the rigged Family Court system, and which eliminates all the tactics currently used to grant custody and unsupervised visitation to undeserving fathers.
Since male power in the family is arguably the most coveted patriarchal perk, and paternal entitlement is systemically entrenched, WOMEN MUST UNITE as a class, as half the population (along with men who truly care about what is best for children) and demand a new system.
The new “CHILD CUSTODY ACT” codes for this new system:
If you would like to help with educating moms and the public about the Child Custody Act or lobbying legislators for it, please contact WomensCoalitionIntl@gmail.com.
*If you appreciate the work of the Women's Coalition, please consider donating on Facebook or on Paypal.
Mum and Maddie,
This letter is for you to understand why I’ve had to do what I’ve done. It’s for you to show to the police and the court to explain myself. This is the only thing I could do for Olly to have any semblance of a childhood with his mum. I’m really sorry to leave you all but we have no other choice and I promise we will be ok! I will never let any harm come to Olly.
My solicitor has told me repeatedly that because of how Patrick is portraying me in court that the Judge believes we are causing Olly emotional harm. It’s impossible for me to show them and prove to them the extent and amount of emotional abuse I have endured and still am being subjected to.
I’ve been told that there is a strong possibility that Olly will be appointed a guardian by the court, something Patrick requested at the last hearing. I have also been told that this outcome goes hand in hand with Olly being placed into Foster Care! I cannot believe any parent who has even an ounce of love for their child would ever consider asking for this!
I can’t let his hatred for me and need to control and destroy my life be the reason that my boy ends up in care! I love my son endlessly and will not allow it! He does not love his son or care about his well-being.
Since our breakup I was the one who encouraged and suggested in court every weekend contact for Olly with his father. This custody battle is not because he loves his son. Why would he not have been happy to give Olly a steady normal life with this mum and his dad in it!
Why does he want to take him from me when I’ve done nothing but adhere to his demands even when I did not feel they were in Olly’s best interests. What have I done, other than leave an abusive relationship and still allow him extensive contact with Olly?
My son clings to me sobbing and shouting that he doesn’t want to go to daddie’s. He comes home and clings to my side not allowing me to leave the room without him! Why is my son’s voice not being heard by the court? The court system is so wrapped up and concerned with “Father’s Rights” that they overlook the children’s happiness and well being. There is something wrong with the environment there for Olly not to want to go so badly!
I begged Social Services to investigate the situation with this dad when Olly was telling me he was being hit there. This was the one and only time I broke the court order, Olly was distraught and hysterical but the court, police and father didn’t care and demanded my son went back to visits with him, threatening me with prison if I didn’t force him to go!
My son deserves happiness and watching him be dragged away from me every week is disgusting and is the only thing on my end that is causing Olly emotional harm!
I had to bring my son home 3 days early from a family holiday to Florida at Patrick’s insistence and the courts disgusting decision. It cost my mum hundreds for new flights and missed days, What father that loves his child would want their child to miss family holidays!
Leaving him was the hardest thing I have ever done until now. It was terrifying and I only done it because of Olly! I want to protect him from having to recover from his childhood.
I used to be intensely scared of going to bed every night, to the point where I would purposely go to bed at 6/7 pm at night in the slight hope that he would feel remotely guilty about forcing me awake for sex! I think I got roughly 2 hours of uninterrupted sleep every night if I was lucky, my body and mind felt constantly exhausted from being in a permanent state of tension. I would clinch and go rigid when I heard him coming up the stairs as I would pretend to be asleep. If I refused or protested too much, the level of hostility the next day would cause me to have extreme anxiety and panic attacks. This sort of behavior intensified and became an every night occurrence around September/October 2015 after I’d had Olly.
I was pressured into sex only 3 weeks after Olly was born and he only waited that long because of the bleeding. It was extremely painful due to the birth I had, he didn’t care or react other than forcefully to my obvious pain or objections. I had to go straight to my doctors and ask for the Morning After Pill as he had refused to use any contraception as he didn’t like it. I couldn’t refuse as he liked to point out I was financially controlled by him and he could get me out of the house whenever he wanted to and he “knew people.”
I was embarrassed about my situation and scared that if I told the truth about his behavior that they would alert social services as I was a young first time mother...turns out I was right that no one could help me!
I told my GP Dr. Murphy at Hassengate doctors that a condom had split!... not long after I went to the doctors and was prescribed 20mg Citalopram for what I described as severe anxiety caused by my relationship. I don’t remember giving too many details as again I didn’t want Social Services alerted.
I intentionally hid my prescription from him for months until he searched my bag and goggled the name of them. He began to publically refer to me as a crazy and my 100 mg pills and mock me to my family and friends. He would constantly refer to me as “mental” and “weak.”
I was too embarrassed to ask for help and ashamed and worried that because I had tried to leave before and had to come back because of his threats that nobody would believe or even be willing to help me.
Everyone seemed to not like him and his behavior but no one seemed to confront him or help me. I don’t resent anyone or want them to feel bad as it was my fault for not asking for help or telling anyone the extent of the problem. I know this and blame only myself.
The controlling nature became worse to the point where I wasn’t allowed to move or even choose items of furniture etc...The worst part of the relationship was when I would care for his other children while they were supposed to be in his care, he would intentionally demean me and encourage them to ignore me as any sort of authority and taught them to disrespect me. I loved those children as if they were my own and I stayed in the relationship as long as I did because I loved and cared for them so much. When he spitefully holds me after I’d left, he told them I didn’t want to see them anymore, he broke me more than anything he’d ever done before. It destroyed me!
I watched how he treated their mother, even though he wanted her to move on and be decent to him he still refused to be decent to her.
He stalked her emails, blanked her messages when he had her children (to the point where I would feel so guilty I would secretly message her via Facebook to let her know they were ok), he refused to allow her to have his contact number, she wasn’t allowed near the house, etc...He thrived on the fact he made her suffer, he audio recorded their court mediation and hearings so he could hear her cry again. He would laugh at these! He allowed her to move on by moving away as he had ended that relationship. He wanted her away so he could move on with myself.
I was a naive little girl at 18 and he was 37! I feel awful for how he treated her and leaving her pregnant. Maybe how I’ve been treated is Karma...He allowed her to move on by moving away as he controlled that decision and situation. If the court had listened and realized why I wanted to move away and how I would have still abided by the order I wouldn’t have been forced to protect my son in this way!
I am not allowed to be in our son’s life as Patrick did not make the decision to remove me from his life. It’s shocking and my son is now a child of the court thanks to his manipulation.
I have endured harassment, stalking, being chased in my car, having my personal emails and social media privacy invaded and have had no help from the police! Patrick is a psychopath and he will not be satisfied or stop until he has completely removed me from Olly’s life, either by manipulation of the court as he has done or I truly believe he is capable of killing me. I love Olly more than anything and will never allow anyone to harm him in any way!
I’m sorry for leaving but I am truly so beyond scared for my life and I will not allow him to destroy Olly’s life by taking mine. I love you, Maddie and Billy and really hope one day you’ll be able to be with us again. I truly believe this won’t be able to happen until he is proven to be what he is and the awful court system has been changed to protect my son and people like from him.
Please ask the police to make sure you are all safe from him and his family, he has no boundaries and I’m scared he’ll try to hurt you’s.
We love you’s and I’ll find a way to let you know that we are safe and happy.
Sorry, I love you!
Please let Mandy and Ellie at Changing Pathways know I am ok and that I appreciate all the help they gave me. They are the only ones who believed me and will worry about me and Olly. xxx
Cindy Dumas, M.A. has been researching, writing, and raising awareness about the Custody Crisis since 2003, when she was unable to protect her children from their abusive father. She fled into hiding when Family Court failed her and was tricked into returning home, when her children were given to their abusive father.